Labeling Ourselves: Shorthand or Shackles?
The Hidden Cost of Identity in the Age of Social Media
Belonging at a Cost
We are social animals. We crave community and understanding. Social media makes finding our tribe too easy. That's why the internet is flooded with identity labels from mental health, to social hierarchies to personality types. ADHD. Alpha male. Neurodivergent. Alpha. Woke. Conservative… What used to be descriptions are now diagnoses we’re quick to self-apply just to have a place to fit in.
This isn’t anecdotal. The numbers back it up. A recent journal of adolescent health study (Published in PLOS One) found TikTok videos tagged with #ADHD had billions of views, many of them pushing self-diagnosis. Anxiety and depression hashtags rack similar numbers. Add in the endless flood of personality charts: empath, sigmas, introvert… and you start to see the pattern. The more we label ourselves, the more clicks, likes, and communities are generated to reinforce those labels.
Picture this: you're doom-scrolling and pause when an influencer starts to describe what it's like to be an HSP (a Highly Sensitive Person). You think, "Hey, that sounds like me." Suddenly, someone is speaking to your quirks and struggles. You click their profile, watch more videos, and start confirming your suspicion: you must be an HSP. The more you watch, the more of the same you're fed, and the stronger the label feels.
The worst part? You probably aren’t any more an HSP than most. But you've already given yourself the label, and now the algorithm keeps feeding it to you until you believe it is who you are. I see this happening constantly. It's easy to fall into. We're all wired the same way, which means most of us can "fit" into a lot of labels. It's just a matter of finding the one that resonates the most.
I touched on it in my last essay. How men are self-labeling, using those labels as self-fulfilling prophecies, and in the process, they stop growing or evolving.
Labels give us a sense of belonging, but they also alienate us from ourselves. Take someone who identifies with "anxiety." At first, it's a way to explain certain struggles. But soon, everything in their life gets filtered through that word. Normal stress? It’s my anxiety. An off day? It’s my anxiety. The label stops being a description and starts becoming a script. The identity becomes your prison, and now the label owns you.
The Label Trap
Labels aren’t bad, and like them or not, they’re a part of us. They have an evolutionary purpose. Think of them like the plumage on a bird. They serve as shorthand for group belonging and safety. The literal reason tribes and cultures shared identical fashions, foods, and traits. It’s evolution’s way of quickly determining who belongs and who might be a threat. Essentially, who is a friend or foe? It’s a hardwired survival tool that's impossible to shed.
But what served as early markers for our roles in society—what tribe, profession, faith, or nationality we belong to—has evolved with our technological advancements. The more connected we become, the more our labels get polluted and twisted into something less helpful. They went from shorthand to shackles, from describing who we are to dictating who we're allowed to be.
From Description to Prescription
Take "introvert." It used to mean you recharge best when alone instead of in a crowd. No big deal. But online today, "introvert" morphed into an identity checklist. Don't network. Don't speak in public. Don't date an extrovert. Suddenly, the label isn't describing you, it's deciding for you.
Politically, it's the same. I've seen thousands of online arguments where the labels "leftist" or "conservative" reduce whole people into stereotypes. Political labels used to be loose clusters of values. Now they're hardened dogma. Step out of line and you're ridiculed, called names, shunned. Stay loyal to your side, and you're trapped in an echo chamber, fed the same beliefs on repeat.
Our labels have become our cages. They separate us into categories and cement those categories as our identities. Once that happens, critical thinking dies. We stop weighing ideas on their merit. Agreeing with the “other side” feels less like admitting they have a point, and more like you’re amputating a piece of yourself. And no one wants to do that.
Why Labels Stick
Our brains love labels because they create order out of chaos. At our core, we are still animals wired to make fast survival decisions, and labels are cognitive shortcuts. In the age of social media, where we’re bombarded with hundreds of opinions daily, the fastest way to belong is to grab a label that feels familiar and run with it, even if it doesn't fit.
Once we wear it, our brain works overtime to prove it's true. Confirmation bias does the rest.
Here's how that works: let’s say you call yourself an "empath." Now every time you notice a mood shift, it's your proof you’re attuned to feelings. The times you miss it? Ignored. Same with politics. If you're "conservative," you'll spotlight articles and influencers that back you up while quietly scrolling past the ones that don't. (You do this. I do this. We all do this.) The label has become a filter. We start to see only what fits, and the rest gets cropped out.
That's confirmation bias at work. We tend to look for and remember information that supports what we already believe, while rejecting what doesn't fit. It keeps our worldview comfortable, and we need that.
Breaking the Cage
We can't get rid of labels; they're hardwired into us. The trick is refusing to let them own us. A label should be a tool, not a diagnosis. Call yourself an introvert, fine. Just don't let that stop you from raising your hand in a meeting or going out with friends. Say you're conservative, sure. Just don't let that blind you to a good idea or policy just because it came from "the other side."
What you do will always matter more than what you call yourself. Instead of being “conservative” or “liberal,” focus on what choices you’re making day-to-day. Being either of those doesn’t mean much if you choose to treat people like shit.
Actions always trump labels.
Avoid living inside label-based echo chambers. If you’re conservative, follow a smart progressive. If you’re liberal, follow a thoughtful conservative. Otherwise, you’re not testing your ideas; you're just swimming in a shallow pool of your own beliefs. And if you're either and think there are no smart liberals or thoughtful conservatives, you’ve stopped thinking critically.
Remember, we are multiplicities, not monoliths. You can be a parent, a gamer, a professional, a skeptic, spiritual, and an empath all at the same time. Labels don’t own us. Human beings aren’t hashtags.
Labels help us find each other, but they should never decide who we are allowed to be.
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Thanks for being here. Stay Curious. Question Everything.
–Luis
The Devil’s Playbook is a weekly exploration of philosophy, psychology, society, and the hidden forces that shape the way we live and think.