Taking It To the Maxxing

A Devil's Footnote On How Even Silence Has a Strategy

I started my morning by hitting myself in the face with a hammer. Bone smashing. It’s a thing. The idea is simple. If you fracture your jawline, cheekbones and chin just right, it heals back sharper. More defined. Literally chiseled. Like a Michelangelo sculpture. (If Michelangelo hammered his own skull with blunt force.)

After that I boiled goji berry tea to honor my Chinese heritage (I’m Mexican), and spent forty-five minutes optimizing my sleep protocol for a nap I have yet to take. By noon I’d looksmaxxed, Chinamaxxed, and sleepmaxxed. I hadn’t had breakfast, but don’t worry, when I do I’ll be yogurtmaxxing (the latest in the maxxing trend). Because yogurt went from being a food to a lifestyle.

Every ordinary human act turned into a project. It’s not about living anymore. It’s about maxxing it.

It gets better. There’s nothingmaxxing. Content creators film themselves sitting in a room doing absolutely nothing, and calling it a practice. They record it. They edit it. They post it. And like all the other maxxing trends, it’s gaining traction.

That’s the entire problem in one word. We’ve built a generation that can’t even sit still without turning it into content. Where even silence has to have a strategy.

Anyway, I wrote this, edited it, and posted it. I guess that makes this essaymaxxing.

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–Luis

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